Copper's UNDER Met With Rave Reviews

Ted Copper's latest movie is the best by far. Produced outside of Hollywood, with a tiny budget and released over the internet with no premier, no one expected much of UNDER. However, the little movie is rapidly becoming a cult classic.

Featuring the Scottish actor Alistair McCullen, as well as America's old favorites of Miranda Abrons (The Brightest Stars) and Mike Engles (Owen), Copper defied expectations with this latest saga.

The fact that Mike Engles was hospitalized for most of a month during the filming of the movie does not detract from it, but rather adds emotional punch.

It is by far the best of Ted Copper's movies, even though he wrote it himself, and the plot is exceptionally weird in some places. The fantastic chemistry among the cast, the repartee the characters had.

All the way from the unlikely beginning to the fantastic twist ending (no spoilers here, we promise!) Ted manages to hold it together for his audience. And Engles and McCullen really deliver, defying expectations and dazzling the audience.

McCullen to Appear in Copper's "Under"

Ted Copper’s latest project is even further off the wall than his previous three films, which were met with such review as “indescribably bizarre” “pointless” and “unnerving to the point of numbness”. For ‘Under’, Ted Copper has roped in noted Scottish actress Margaret McCullen. In a brief and frequently interrupted phone interview, Miss McCullen was unable to satisfactorily cast any light on her role in the project, only that she will be playing the leading man.

Why Ted Copper would make this particularly concerning choice is unclear to this reporter, but even more disturbing is Miss McCullen herself, whose final stage performance in the UK was thrown into well publicized disaster. Margaret McCullen, in a popularity stunt, switched roles and came onstage as the male character. After this gimmick failed, she was obviously forced to flee to California to make a more dignified name for herself.

Her reasons for the popularity stunt and for willingly appearing in Ted Copper’s latest farce are convoluted at best, and many of her performances leave much to be desired. Needless to say, Margaret McCullen continues to confuse and disappoint.”

Is Mike Engles Gay?

Mike Engles' personal life has long been a matter of speculation among Hollywood insiders. Whether he is actually gay, or just sleeping around for laughs, or is just deeply in denial. Recent looks at Engles multiple homosexual encounters lead this SNITCH! Reporter to believe that he is gay- or possibly bisexual.

Of course the scandal breaking now is of Mike's affair with the actor and model Dominique Alvirez, which was largely publicized in a number of tabloids. Alvirez was married to Aidan Powell, but now that prominent marriage had been destroyed. Thanks to Engles, and Alvirez's wandering eyes.

The past scandals have blown over, leaving Mike's career only moderately affected. Certain people believe that Engles won't be so lucky this time. Alvirez had recently talked to the press about struggling with HIV, and how is afraid he will die ugly and alone.

Now there are even more questions: Is Mike Engles gay? Does he have AIDS? And what exactly will he do about it? We can't be sure, but judging from Engles in the past, he's sure to surprise and confuse us. We'll write more as the story develops.

"Talking to Girls" Flops

Well, folks, he's done it again! Ted Copper's latest movie is even weirder than the last. Talking to Girls tries to sell itself as a cut-and-dry rom-com, but the viewer is advised to beware. The plot is dizzying, the dialogue is stupid, and parts of it are so graphic they'd make Sherman Alexie blush.

Miranda Abrons delivers a smashing performance as Laquisha, the tough town girl fighting to survive the idiocies of men, and she shines all the brighter for appearing beside Jenna Ormund, who appears lackluster and cringe-worthy in even her most passionate scenes.

Speaking of passionate scenes, Copper delivers these in spades. There are five- count them, five- gratuitous sex scenes in TTG, and each more uncomfortable and bizarre than the last. Ted's obsession with BDSM goes further in this one, startling the unwary observer and forcing the audience to explore the dark secrets of every character.

And what secrets they are! Plot twist after plot twist until you feel sick to your stomach and earn for a straightaway. Kianna Rainbow is a leering seductress who makes "Free Love" seem more like an oppressive cult than a open lifestyle, and she is shadowed by James P. Stolon, who for some reason doesn't have a single line in the entire movie.

And did we mention time travel? Well, we have now. Yes, there is time travel. Peter Tender, who is ostensibly the hero of this picture, time travels. And he gets some shirtless scenes, too, so some of you might find that enough of a reason to watch this indescribably weird movie.

If you really can't stand it, we at SNITCH! don't blame you. Go watch "The Claw and The Bodice" instead. At least those skin scenes are plausible.